Happier Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Happier by Ed Sheeran. This was inspired mostly by the depressive feelings that can come with anxiety and wanting to be “Happier.” Also watch for a song tomorrow that will almost be a sequel to this. It’s another Ed Sheeran song.

Working at the store tonight
Another attack I need to fight
Been a month since I had one
I’ve been happier
Want to walk it off again now
Please say something to make me laugh
A long time between smiles I sometimes go
I wish I was happier I do

Ain’t nobody hurt me like I hurt me
I need someone to love me now I do
People forget I dont make it personal now I
I’m trying to move on and start new

Cause I wish I was happier I do
I go numb and I can’t feel it too
And until then I’ll smile to hide the truth
I used to be happier it’s true

Sit in the corner of a room
Because I’m panicking can’t move
Nursing a hurting mind now and telling myself
I could be happier why aren’t you?

Oh ain’t nobody hurt me like I hurt me
And I’m lost don’t know what to do
I know that there’s others and this they’ve gone through
But it doesn’t feel like I can do it too

Will I ever be happier me too?
My friends say one day it will be true
For now I smile to hide the truth
I guess I could be happier it’s true

Maybe I could be happier it’s true
I know I might fall for someone too
But for now I need to find the truth
And know I can be okay on my own it’s true

Advertisements

Demons Rewrite

—–Content Warning—–
While not as dark as some of my other songs it would still be best if this is not read if you are in a negative place in your head.
——————————

This is a rewrite of Demons by Imagine Dragons. This song is about how much you hold in because of mental illness and how a lot of people don’t really know what’s going on in your head.

My mind’s gone cold and I just fold
And it seems my life is made of fool’s gold
When your dreams all fail behind everyone you trail
And worst of all your air has gone stale

I want to hide the truth don’t want to tell you
Bout my beast inside there’s nowhere I can hide
Sometimes I think I’m freed only to see I’m treed
Is this all for me? Is this all for me?

When I’m feeling beat look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide it’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close it’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide it’s where my demons hide

The curtain call my facade falls
When the light fades out my illness crawls
Should I give up faking and this masquerade?
Will they call me out at the mess I am?

I don’t want to let you down but I am so sick
Though I don’t want to tell you, I can’t hide the truth
Sometimes I think I’m freed only to see I’m treed
Is this all for me? Is this all for me?

When I’m feeling beat look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide it’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close it’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide it’s where my demons hide

Some people think it’s fake but this illness just takes
It’s woven in my soul can’t seem to let it go
My eyes are no longer bright, couldn’t save this light
Can I escape this now? Can someone show me how?

When I’m feeling beat look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide it’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close it’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide it’s where my demons hide

I Miss the Mountains Rewrite

This is a rewrite of I Miss the Mountains from the Broadway Musical Next to Normal. This musical is all about mental health so I had to rewrite a song for this blog. This rewrite describes the ups and downs of going through a mental illness. The original song is sung by a lady who is bipolar. However I have modified it to explain my experience with anxiety and my own mental illness. Please share it if you enjoyed.

Here’s the original if you would like to hear it https://youtu.be/Rt09n4O-OrE

There was a time when I flew higher
Was a time that mountians gave me peace, I could see
Now I see me, scared and broken
Now it seems that they have changed I’m scared
I’m nowhere

All these sad and anxious months
Seems they’ve sapped up all my strenghth
I’m no longer free or fast
Feels my happy days are past

But I miss my mountains
I miss the peaceful heights
All the fun and happy days
And the peaceful quiet nights
What are these mountains?
I hate the new highs and lows
All the climbing all the falling
All the rest I had is now gone
I’m being stung with snow
And being soaked with rain
I liked the peace
I hate this pain

Mountains make me crazy
They were safe and sound
My mind is somewhere hazy
My feet aren’t on the ground
I was in the mountains there And on an even keel
Everything was perfect
Nothing’s real
Nothing’s real

And I miss my mountains
I miss my safe climb
Mountains are now very unsafe
I liked spending all my time
Where the air is clear and comforts your life
I miss my mountains
I miss my mountains
I miss my life
I miss my life

Numb Rewrite

——CONTENT WARNING—–
This song is best to not be read if your mind is in a bad place. It is not uplifting but rather shows darker thoughts
——————————

Linkin Park wrote songs that are very relevant to mental illness. I try to rewrite songs that do the same here. This is a rewrite of Numb. Please share it if you enjoyed!

I’m tired of being what I don’t want to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Can’t live up to what’s expected of me
Put under the pressure of pretending to be okay

Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take feels like a mistake to me
Caught in the undertow just caught in undertow

I’ve become so numb but I feel everything
Become so tired so much more aware
Of being a mess all I want to do is be less like this and be liked by them

Can’t you see anxiety smothers me
I hold on too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause I’m not anything I wish I could be
I just fall apart nothing good I can do

Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take feels like a mistake to me
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Is my life just a waste? There’s more than I can take

I’ve become so numb but I feel everything
Become so tired so much more aware
Of being a mess all I want to do is be less like this and be liked by them

And I know everything I fail too
Don’t know how they can like me
Are they just dissapointed in me?

I’ve become so numb but I feel everything
Become so tired so much more aware
Of being a mess all I want to do is be less like this and be liked by them

I’ve become so numb but feel everything
(I’m tired of being what I don’t want to be)
I’ve become so numb but feel everything
(I’m tired of being what I don’t want to be)

Back to December Rewrite

—–Content Warning——
This article is best not to be read if your mind is in a bad place.
—————————–

This is a rewrite of Back to December by Taylor Swift. This is about remembering how easy things used to be and what life was like before this illness. I hope you consider sharing this if you like it!

I’m so bad it’s never easy
How’s life? That’s what someone asks me
I haven’t been fine in awhile
I’m not good. As panicky as ever
I make small talk, work but I wither
My guard is up now all the time
Because now when someone sees me
It feels they burn in the back of my head
Are they looking and judging who I am?

So this is me standing here without pride
Wondering where in the world my life has gone
And I go back to December all the time
When I had freedom and wasn’t anxious at all
Wishing I’d realized what I had when I was fine
I’d go back to December and remember being fine
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven’t been sleeping
Staying up playing back my mistakes
When my birthday passed and it felt noone cared at all
And now it’s summer beautiful all the time
I watch people laughing and having fun
Realize I don’t have much at all

I want the cold here, and dark days before fear crept into my mind
Wish I could feel all their love instead of feeling Goodbye

So where in the world is my pride
Doesn’t feel like I have anything left at all
And I go back to December all the time
Where’s my freedom I miss good days
Wish I’d realized what I had being happy all the time
I’d go back to December and realize what was mine
I go back to December all the time

People posting tanned skin, sweet smiles
So good for them, so right
And darkness holds me in its arms on these summer nights
And all I want to do is cry

I know this is wishful thinking
And just mindless dreaming
But if I’m loved again I swear I’ll do it right

I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
Now pain is all around don’t understand

This is me where is my pride
Standing out here saying I’m sorry for what I am tonight
And I go back to December
Just want freedom and to stop missing things
Wishing I’d realized what I had when things were fine
I’d go back to December and wonder how to make it right
I’d go back to December and wonder if I can change my own mind

I go back to December all the time
All the time

Let’s Hurt Tonight Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Let’s Hurt Tonight by One Republic. This inspired by the feelings of a bad night and that sinking, spiraling felling that happens when things get bad.

When, when I come home
Worn to the bones
I know when things start to get rough
And when, when I am off which happens a lot
It feels like no one comes and I’ve had enough

Oh I know that anxiety is pain
But I can’t stop this forward chain no

So I’ll hit the lights and I’ll lock the doors
I ain’t leaving this room can’t feel anymore
Wish I could leave this behind and myself surprise
But I just feel this pain let me hurt tonight

When when I get down
All I can do is frown
And everything I do is rough

Now I’m just feeling insane
This hurt can’t be explained

Just let me hit the lights and lock the doors
And I don’t care if I just get ignored
If I told someone would they roll their eyes?
All I feel is this pain let me hurt tonight
Why do I feel this pain why do I hurt tonight?

I want to hit the lights and lock all the doors
But is it really good if I just am ignored?
Should I walk away try to surprise?
Can I leave behind this pain and go out tonight?
Can I leave this pain and live a normal life?

Hallelujah Rewrite

This is a rewrite of The really famous song Hallelujah. It’s another song I’ve done from a Christian perspective and really describes my experience well.

Now I have ways in my mind stored
That when I get anxious their help afford
But you probably don’t know the crucial one do you?
I get attacks a fourth a fifth
And by the time I get a sixth
I realize that I’ve forgotten Hallelujah

Hallelujah x4

My faith’s not strong I need proof
When my anxiety goes through the roof
I feel useless like it overthrew me
Feels like I’m tied to a kitchen chair
It breaks my throne and it cuts me down
Yet from my lips it draws Hallelujah

Hallelujah x4

I realize that I always feel the same
And in my issues I forgot your name
And when it gets bad well really I remember
There’s a blaze of light in your Word
And I will bow when it is heard
And I come to you with broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah x4

I do my best doesn’t feel like much
I can’t feel I’ve gone numb and such
You tell the truth and I can’t fool you
And even though my life’s gone wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord in song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah x17