Back to December Rewrite

—–Content Warning——
This article is best not to be read if your mind is in a bad place.
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This is a rewrite of Back to December by Taylor Swift. This is about remembering how easy things used to be and what life was like before this illness. I hope you consider sharing this if you like it!

I’m so bad it’s never easy
How’s life? That’s what someone asks me
I haven’t been fine in awhile
I’m not good. As panicky as ever
I make small talk, work but I wither
My guard is up now all the time
Because now when someone sees me
It feels they burn in the back of my head
Are they looking and judging who I am?

So this is me standing here without pride
Wondering where in the world my life has gone
And I go back to December all the time
When I had freedom and wasn’t anxious at all
Wishing I’d realized what I had when I was fine
I’d go back to December and remember being fine
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven’t been sleeping
Staying up playing back my mistakes
When my birthday passed and it felt noone cared at all
And now it’s summer beautiful all the time
I watch people laughing and having fun
Realize I don’t have much at all

I want the cold here, and dark days before fear crept into my mind
Wish I could feel all their love instead of feeling Goodbye

So where in the world is my pride
Doesn’t feel like I have anything left at all
And I go back to December all the time
Where’s my freedom I miss good days
Wish I’d realized what I had being happy all the time
I’d go back to December and realize what was mine
I go back to December all the time

People posting tanned skin, sweet smiles
So good for them, so right
And darkness holds me in its arms on these summer nights
And all I want to do is cry

I know this is wishful thinking
And just mindless dreaming
But if I’m loved again I swear I’ll do it right

I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
Now pain is all around don’t understand

This is me where is my pride
Standing out here saying I’m sorry for what I am tonight
And I go back to December
Just want freedom and to stop missing things
Wishing I’d realized what I had when things were fine
I’d go back to December and wonder how to make it right
I’d go back to December and wonder if I can change my own mind

I go back to December all the time
All the time

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