Falling Slowly Rewrite

Even when things are okay and I’m actually happy this illness still lingers on in the background. And that’s what this next rewrite is about. If you want to listen a long you can do so here. https://youtu.be/4LGavEmg6Xs

You don’t notice; I want you to
All the more for that
Words come easy I even fool me
Yet I can’t relax
And words that never amount
To more than they’re meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice, show I have a choice
And I’ll make it out

Falling slowly eyes that know me
And I can’t go back
Moods that take me and erase me
Even when things are on track
I have suffered enough
And warred with myself
How will I know I won?

Take this sinking boat and point it home
Even when I seem fine
Raise your hopeful voice I have a choice
To make it out

Falling slowly, but I can stop me
I’ll sing along

I’ll be fine

I played my cards too late

All’s not gone

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Michael in the Bathroom Rewrite

This is a bit of an obscure one but the song works really well for anxiety. This is a Rewrite of Michael in the Bathroom from the Off Broadway yet weirdly famous musical Be More Chill. I hope you enjoy. Please share if you do. Here’s a link if you want to listen a long. https://youtu.be/PwB1tzVtjTU

I am hanging in the bathroom at times when I cant stop freaking out
I could stay right here or disappear and nobody’d even notice at all

I’m sitting in a bathroom cause my axiety makes me feel alone
But I’d rather fake pee than stand awkardly and have to face them on my own

Everything felt fine I used to not feel like no one cared
Now through no fault of mine,there’s a ton of panic there

Now I’m just sitting in the bathroom,
Sitting in the bathroom all anxious
Forget how long it’s been
I’m sitting in the bathroom, sitting in the bathroom, someone stop this
No you can’t come in
I’m waiting it out til I’m able to breathe
And picking up my pieces as I quietly grieve
There’s so many people who don’t know
Feels I’m flyin solo sitting in the bathroom by myself
All by myself

I am hiding but fears still there, Can only take one thing at a time
Can my problems get erased and get replaced with a newer better version of me
And I hear the radio that is now playing Whitney through the door- I wanna dance with somebody!
And my feelings sink cause it makes me think there’s nothing worth dancing for anymore

Now I’m just sitting in the bathroom
Sitting in the bathroom all anxious
I can’t face my fears
Sitting in the bathroom, sitting in the bathroom all anxious
As I choke back the tears
I’ll wait as long as I need until my face is dry
Or I’ll just blame it on the dust or something in my eye
There’s just so many who don’t know
I’m just flying solo
Sitting in the bathroom by myself

Knock knock knock knock
Does anyone care enough to
Knock knock knock knock
And ask if I’ll be out soon
Knock knock knock knock
It sucks that I feel all alone
Knock knock knock knock
Here in my mind that’s a battle zone
Clang clang clang clang
I feel the pressure blowing up
Bang bang bang bang
My mistakes are showing up
Splash splash splash splash
I throw some water in my face
And I am in a better place
I go to open up the door
I’m not quite as anxious anymore

But I can’t help but yearn
For a different time
When I can look in the mirror
And the present is clearer
And there’s no denying I’m just-

Anxious
Is there a sadder sight than
*hums*
I was in the bathroom and anxious
This was a heinous sight
I wish I’d stayed at home to watch TV more
But I came here instead
And I felt forlorn
I feel lonely and a loner
All alone in the corner
Is there hope for me yet?
My life will get better yet
Now I’m flyin solo
Who should I let know?
So I’m not in the bathroom by myself
Not by myself
Not by myself
If I told them more than just my name
First steps
Could be glad I came

Still Hurting Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Still Hurting from the musical The Last Five Years. Save Myself is still coming but this summarises how I sometimes feel still really well.

If you would like to listen to it here is a link. https://youtu.be/6zmmH_8ha28

When is this over when is it gone?
When will anxiety decide to move on?
There are my dreams how can I build upon
When I’m still hurting

I feel like I’m at the end of the line
What do I do with these problems of mine?
How long until I feel just fine?
And I’m still hurting

Should I lie about anxiety?
What about things
That I really want to do?
What happens now to me?
What about me?

It feels like something wonderful died
Where is my old life getting it back I’ve tried
Not many people I’ve tried to confide
And I’m still hurting

Go and hide and run away
Run away is there anything better?
Go and store my problems away
And pretend like it’s simple
Like I’m alright

Give me a day now to
Be better and try
Recover from my falls
Maybe I’ll see
How they could be
So certain that I
Will one day stand tall

Anxiety’s not over where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there’s somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn’t change the fact
I can learn from the past
And fix my foundations cracks
But I’m Still Hurting

I Miss the Mountains Rewrite

This is a rewrite of I Miss the Mountains from the Broadway Musical Next to Normal. This musical is all about mental health so I had to rewrite a song for this blog. This rewrite describes the ups and downs of going through a mental illness. The original song is sung by a lady who is bipolar. However I have modified it to explain my experience with anxiety and my own mental illness. Please share it if you enjoyed.

Here’s the original if you would like to hear it https://youtu.be/Rt09n4O-OrE

There was a time when I flew higher
Was a time that mountians gave me peace, I could see
Now I see me, scared and broken
Now it seems that they have changed I’m scared
I’m nowhere

All these sad and anxious months
Seems they’ve sapped up all my strenghth
I’m no longer free or fast
Feels my happy days are past

But I miss my mountains
I miss the peaceful heights
All the fun and happy days
And the peaceful quiet nights
What are these mountains?
I hate the new highs and lows
All the climbing all the falling
All the rest I had is now gone
I’m being stung with snow
And being soaked with rain
I liked the peace
I hate this pain

Mountains make me crazy
They were safe and sound
My mind is somewhere hazy
My feet aren’t on the ground
I was in the mountains there And on an even keel
Everything was perfect
Nothing’s real
Nothing’s real

And I miss my mountains
I miss my safe climb
Mountains are now very unsafe
I liked spending all my time
Where the air is clear and comforts your life
I miss my mountains
I miss my mountains
I miss my life
I miss my life

Falling Slowly Rewrite 

This is a rewrite of Falling Slowly from the Broadway musical Once. This was inspired by anxiety in general and the feelings of just wanting to get better.

I don’t know this
And I don’t want it
Anymore at all
Words fall through me
They always fool me
And I overreact
And plans that never amount
When they had been thought through
Will always disappoint

I’m a sinking boat please point me home
While there’s still time
Raise a hopeful voice that there’s a chance
I’ll make it out

Falling slowly I’m so lonely
And I can’t go back
Moods just take me and erase me
And my mind attacks
Have I suffered enough?
If I’m at war with myself
How can I ever win?

I’m a sinking boat please point me home
Is there still time?
Lend a hopeful voice do I have a choice
To make it out

Falling slowly but if you catch me
I can be okay

Evermore Rewrite

Here I rewrote Evermore from the Beauty and the Beast live action movie. Originally written by Alan Menken and Tim Rice and performed on the movie by Dan Stevens.

This was inspired by the ups and downs of dealing with anxiety and the dilemma of getting help.

Some days I feel I have it all
Like I’m the master of my fate
And that maybe this thing will soon be gone
I learned the truth too late
I’ll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes and it’s still there
Nothing can heal this melancholy heart
It’s more than I can bear

Now I know this’ll never leave me
Even if I run away
It will still torment me
Tease me, hurt me
Move me come what may
Wasting in my lonely bedroom
Waiting for someone to care
I’ll fool myself and think I’m fine
But this’ll be here for evermore

I rage against the trials of love
I curse the passing of the time
Help seems to fly so far beyond my reach
It’s never out of sight

But I know this’ll never leave me
But help never fades from view
Can anyone inspire me
Be a part of anything I do?
To stop wasting alone in my room
And wait by an open door
I’ll fool myself I’ll think it’s gone
And as the long long day begins
With help I wonder what I will be
Do I wait here for evermore?

She Used to Be Mine Rewrite

This is the first song I ever wrote to deal with my anxiety. This is based off She Used to be mine from the Broadway Musical Waitress. Originally written by Sara Barielles and performed in the Original Broadway Cast by Jessie Mueller and other since then.

Here’s a video of the original if you want to listen to it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KeSzeGikNc

This was inspired by how much I’ve changed because of my anxiety. Some days I really don’t recognize what I have become because of it.

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these thoughts and this aching
This place and the faking
Has taken more than it’s given
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used to be although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet centre
I still remember that boy

He’s imperfect but he tries
He is good but he lies
He is hard on himself
He is broken and won’t ask for help
He is messy but he’s kind
He is lonely most of the time
He is all of this messed up and shamed at what he’s become
He is gone but he used to be mine

It’s not what I asked for
This illness- it slipped in through a back door
And carves out some fears and makes me believe they’re all true
And now everything I rue
This disease I didn’t ask for
If I’m honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the boy that I knew

Who is timid just enough
Who gets hurt and needs to learn how to toughen up
When he is bruised and gets used by an illness that’s tough
And then he’ll get stuck
And scared of the life planned out for him
Growing scarier each day til it finally reminds him
To fight just a little and bring back the fire in his eyes
That’s been gone but used to be mine

He’s hurting he says he’s fine
He is lonely most of the time
He is all of this messed and and shamed at what he’s become
He is gone but used to be mine