I Miss the Mountains Rewrite

This is a rewrite of I Miss the Mountains from the Broadway Musical Next to Normal. This musical is all about mental health so I had to rewrite a song for this blog. This rewrite describes the ups and downs of going through a mental illness. The original song is sung by a lady who is bipolar. However I have modified it to explain my experience with anxiety and my own mental illness. Please share it if you enjoyed.

Here’s the original if you would like to hear it https://youtu.be/Rt09n4O-OrE

There was a time when I flew higher
Was a time that mountians gave me peace, I could see
Now I see me, scared and broken
Now it seems that they have changed I’m scared
I’m nowhere

All these sad and anxious months
Seems they’ve sapped up all my strenghth
I’m no longer free or fast
Feels my happy days are past

But I miss my mountains
I miss the peaceful heights
All the fun and happy days
And the peaceful quiet nights
What are these mountains?
I hate the new highs and lows
All the climbing all the falling
All the rest I had is now gone
I’m being stung with snow
And being soaked with rain
I liked the peace
I hate this pain

Mountains make me crazy
They were safe and sound
My mind is somewhere hazy
My feet aren’t on the ground
I was in the mountains there And on an even keel
Everything was perfect
Nothing’s real
Nothing’s real

And I miss my mountains
I miss my safe climb
Mountains are now very unsafe
I liked spending all my time
Where the air is clear and comforts your life
I miss my mountains
I miss my mountains
I miss my life
I miss my life

Numb Rewrite

——CONTENT WARNING—–
This song is best to not be read if your mind is in a bad place. It is not uplifting but rather shows darker thoughts
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Lincoln Park wrote songs that are very relevant to mental illness. I try to rewrite songs that do the same here. This is a rewrite of Numb. Please share it if you enjoyed!

I’m tired of being what I don’t want to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Can’t live up to what’s expected of me
Put under the pressure of pretending to be okay

Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take feels like a mistake to me
Caught in the undertow just caught in undertow

I’ve become so numb but I feel everything
Become so tired so much more aware
Of being a mess all I want to do is be less like this and be liked by them

Can’t you see anxiety smothers me
I hold on too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause I’m not anything I wish I could be
I just fall apart nothing good I can do

Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take feels like a mistake to me
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Is my life just a waste? There’s more than I can take

I’ve become so numb but I feel everything
Become so tired so much more aware
Of being a mess all I want to do is be less like this and be liked by them

And I know everything I fail too
Don’t know how they can like me
Are they just dissapointed in me?

I’ve become so numb but I feel everything
Become so tired so much more aware
Of being a mess all I want to do is be less like this and be liked by them

I’ve become so numb but feel everything
(I’m tired of being what I don’t want to be)
I’ve become so numb but feel everything
(I’m tired of being what I don’t want to be)

Back to December Rewrite

—–Content Warning——
This article is best not to be read if your mind is in a bad place.
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This is a rewrite of Back to December by Taylor Swift. This is about remembering how easy things used to be and what life was like before this illness. I hope you consider sharing this if you like it!

I’m so bad it’s never easy
How’s life? That’s what someone asks me
I haven’t been fine in awhile
I’m not good. As panicky as ever
I make small talk, work but I wither
My guard is up now all the time
Because now when someone sees me
It feels they burn in the back of my head
Are they looking and judging who I am?

So this is me standing here without pride
Wondering where in the world my life has gone
And I go back to December all the time
When I had freedom and wasn’t anxious at all
Wishing I’d realized what I had when I was fine
I’d go back to December and remember being fine
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven’t been sleeping
Staying up playing back my mistakes
When my birthday passed and it felt noone cared at all
And now it’s summer beautiful all the time
I watch people laughing and having fun
Realize I don’t have much at all

I want the cold here, and dark days before fear crept into my mind
Wish I could feel all their love instead of feeling Goodbye

So where in the world is my pride
Doesn’t feel like I have anything left at all
And I go back to December all the time
Where’s my freedom I miss good days
Wish I’d realized what I had being happy all the time
I’d go back to December and realize what was mine
I go back to December all the time

People posting tanned skin, sweet smiles
So good for them, so right
And darkness holds me in its arms on these summer nights
And all I want to do is cry

I know this is wishful thinking
And just mindless dreaming
But if I’m loved again I swear I’ll do it right

I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
Now pain is all around don’t understand

This is me where is my pride
Standing out here saying I’m sorry for what I am tonight
And I go back to December
Just want freedom and to stop missing things
Wishing I’d realized what I had when things were fine
I’d go back to December and wonder how to make it right
I’d go back to December and wonder if I can change my own mind

I go back to December all the time
All the time

Hallelujah Rewrite

This is a rewrite of The really famous song Hallelujah. It’s another song I’ve done from a Christian perspective and really describes my experience well.

Now I have ways in my mind stored
That when I get anxious their help afford
But you probably don’t know the crucial one do you?
I get attacks a fourth a fifth
And by the time I get a sixth
I realize that I’ve forgotten Hallelujah

Hallelujah x4

My faith’s not strong I need proof
When my anxiety goes through the roof
I feel useless like it overthrew me
Feels like I’m tied to a kitchen chair
It breaks my throne and it cuts me down
Yet from my lips it draws Hallelujah

Hallelujah x4

I realize that I always feel the same
And in my issues I forgot your name
And when it gets bad well really I remember
There’s a blaze of light in your Word
And I will bow when it is heard
And I come to you with broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah x4

I do my best doesn’t feel like much
I can’t feel I’ve gone numb and such
You tell the truth and I can’t fool you
And even though my life’s gone wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord in song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah x17

Falling Slowly Rewrite 

This is a rewrite of Falling Slowly from the Broadway musical Once. This was inspired by anxiety in general and the feelings of just wanting to get better.

I don’t know this
And I don’t want it
Anymore at all
Words fall through me
They always fool me
And I overreact
And plans that never amount
When they had been thought through
Will always disappoint

I’m a sinking boat please point me home
While there’s still time
Raise a hopeful voice that there’s a chance
I’ll make it out

Falling slowly I’m so lonely
And I can’t go back
Moods just take me and erase me
And my mind attacks
Have I suffered enough?
If I’m at war with myself
How can I ever win?

I’m a sinking boat please point me home
Is there still time?
Lend a hopeful voice do I have a choice
To make it out

Falling slowly but if you catch me
I can be okay

Amnesia Rewrite

———-Content warning: This is not a positive post and is best to not be read if your mind is not in a good place.——

———————-

——-Trigger Warning: Suicide——-

—————————-
Here is a Rewrite of Amnesia from the band 5 Seconds of Summer. They have been a band that’s very open about mental illness and I’m glad for that. Anyways this is inspired by just how much has changed because of anxiety and what my mind can be like. Just a warning that this one does get dark and may be disturbing to some people. However it is also a very real symptom of anxiety and something I wanted to add in.

If you want a link to the original here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCCJCILiX3o

I was able to go to places and not at all get nervous
I think about that time and how it felt things were so easy
And even though I tell people I’m doing fine

Now I go somewhere and feel lonely even if people are beside me
And people say innocent words but they hurt and I overthink them

Sometimes I start to wonder is it all a lie?
If this illness is real how can I be fine?

Cause I’m not fine at all

I remember the day when I first had this illness
I remember tears that wanted to run down my face
If feels my dreams are shattered and I don’t need them
Same with every single wish I ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about what anxiety really means
The way it feels to fall asleep and hope to die
And bad memories I never can escape

Cause I’m not fine at all

Pictures of me dying are all living in my head
I’ll admit I like to see them I’ll admit I feel alone
Would all my friends notice if I’m not around?

Or would they still be happy how easy would they move on?
Would it be hard to hear my name and know that I’m gone?

I know this won’t happen I know these thoughts are lies
But if these thoughts are real how can I be fine?

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

I now know what it feels like to be very anxious
It’s impossible to think, make small decisions
And your dreams you leave behind you don’t need them
And you crush every single wish you ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about what anxiety really means
Like the way it feels to fall asleep with your pills
Because some nights you know no other way

If today I woke up and this was not beside me
Like having it was just some twisted dream
I’d be more thankful for health than I was before
And I’d never slip away
And here’s what I’d say

I remember what it feels like to feel you’re insane
And I know what it feels like to have tears run down your face
And your dreams you leave behind you don’t need them
Same with every single wish you’ve ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And stop worrying over stupid little things
And how it feels to want everything to be over
And bad feelings that I never can escape

Cause I’m not fine at all
No I’m really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
Cause I’m really not fine at all

 

Piece by Piece Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Kelly Clarkson’s piece by piece. I rewrote this one from a Christian perspective as God is the number one priority in my life and I know He is there for me. As a Christian he is where I turn for my anxiety and that’s what this is about.

And all that I know now is how bad This anxiety can be can’t leave it all in my past I get forced down to my knees to see you       I beg you to want me and somehow you want to

And piece by piece you’re collecting me up Off the ground where I abandoned me         And piece by piece you fill the holes      That I burned in me sometime ago        And I know you’ll never walk away          Or just leave me hanging                         You’ll take care of me                                  You love me                                               Piece by piece you restore my faith        That life can be kind and I can be okay 

And none of your words fall flat                    I think nothing of myself but still you come back                                                     And your love it is so free it cannot be earned                                                           And I have nothing you need to you I should be worthless 

But piece by piece you’re collecting me up   Off the ground where I abandoned me         And piece by piece you fill the holes      That I burned in me sometime ago        And I know you’ll never walk away          Or just leave me hanging                         You’ll take care of me                                  You love me                                               Piece by piece you restore my faith        That life can be kind and I can be okay 

But piece by piece I fell far from your word But you came to me and will never leave   And I should never have to wonder my worth                                                      Because in good faith I can put you first     And I know you’ll never walk away           Or just leave me hanging                             And if I break my heart                           You’ll take care of things                            And love me                                                 And piece by piece you restore my faith       That life can be kind and I should stay