Saving Amy Rewrite

TW: Suicide

This is a rewrite of Saving Amy by Brantley Gilbert. Anxiety can sometimes get you to be so down about your problems that it can lead you to these thoughts. While I’m not actively suicidal that doesn’t stop some of these thoughts from still coming when things are really dark. This rewrite is based on some of the darkest thoughts anxiety can give you. As the Trigger Warning states this is a dark rewrite and could be potentially triggering to some people.

If you would like to listen a long here is a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WP1fWHHU2ZU

Would they find the letters I wrote
And keep my picture in a frame
After a year they might let go
And life would be the same
If I just did it one night if I just let go
And ended things forever in hopes of going home
If I never made it home one night
Would a part of someone die too?
They need not go lose their mind
It’s not worth it this is true
No one would need to go crazy and scream out my name
And would anyone come save me
To get through this I’d do anything

To get the tears out off my face
And realize everything’s okay
Feel my heartbeat going fine
And not lose all my time
Oh but God please help
You know I can’t keep living this way
Is it too late for saving me?
If there’s still hope please come and get me

When three years go by
And they’re living life
Would they remember me sometimes?
I’m sure they’d be alright
Without me being there
They were in my heart and my dreams
I thought of them forever when I did it I miss them but will they miss me?

And now the tears fall from my face
As nothing ever feels okay
I feel my heart pick up the pace
How fast this time goes
But oh God you know I can’t
I can’t keep living this way
If there’s still hope for saving me
Please come now and rescue me

God, kiss the tears off of my face
One day walk me through your gates
Calm my heartbeat in good time
Show me that I can be fine
God I thank you for everyday
Restore my every ounce of faith
And come back now and rescue me

I wish somebody would save me
me, save me
I wish somebody would save me
Come and save me
I wish somebody would save me
Come and save me x3
Save me
I wish somebody would come save me

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Falling Slowly Rewrite

Even when things are okay and I’m actually happy this illness still lingers on in the background. And that’s what this next rewrite is about. If you want to listen a long you can do so here. https://youtu.be/4LGavEmg6Xs

You don’t notice; I want you to
All the more for that
Words come easy I even fool me
Yet I can’t relax
And words that never amount
To more than they’re meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice, show I have a choice
And I’ll make it out

Falling slowly eyes that know me
And I can’t go back
Moods that take me and erase me
Even when things are on track
I have suffered enough
And warred with myself
How will I know I won?

Take this sinking boat and point it home
Even when I seem fine
Raise your hopeful voice I have a choice
To make it out

Falling slowly, but I can stop me
I’ll sing along

I’ll be fine

I played my cards too late

All’s not gone

Better Man Rewrite

This is rewrite of Better Man by Little Big Town and is about feeling low, worthless, a burden to friends, and not good enough.
Here’s a link to the original song if you wish to listen a long. Please share if you enjoyed!

I know I’m probably better off on my own
Than being a burden on those who don’t know anxiety and that I have it
And I know the permanent damage it’s done to me
Never again I wish I could forget that I have it

I wish it wasn’t 2 am rolling in my bed
Saying to myself you know you’re not worth it
I know the bravest thing I ever did was talk

Sometimes in the middle of the night I feel it again
I get nervous and I just wish I were a better man
And I know I do my best and try but I need someone’s hand
But I stay silent and I just wish I were a better man
A better man

I know I’m probably better off all alone
Than needing someone to give me all of the answers
And it’s always on my terms I spit out so many careless words
Begging for help but not noticing what to them it’s doing

There’s some jealousy and some anger now
Just talk down to me it’s what I deserve I’ve found
Why don’t you push me away after everything I’ve done?
Maybe I’m not really done

But

Sometimes in the middle of the night I feel it again
I get nervous and I just wish I were a better man
And I know I do my best and try but I need someone’s hand
But I stay silent and I just wish I were a better man
A better man

Can I hold onto my pride? But that I don’t even have
And you give me my best and we all know I can’t say that
I can’t say that
I wish I were a better man
I wonder if that I can become
Can I be a better man?
Can I deserve to love?
If I am a better man
Maybe I can meet the one
If I am a better man

Yeah
Sometimes in the middle of the night I’m upset again
And I’m sick of this and I just wish I were a better man
And I know why things can go awry like the back of my hand
And I want life and I want myself to be a better man

What might come for me next if I were a better man
A Better man.

Stay Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Stay by the country band Sugarland. It’s written as if it’s a question to the anxiety and asking why it stays. If you want to follow a long here’sa link https://youtu.be/zPG1n1B0Ydw

I’ve been sitting here staring
At the clock on the wall
And I been laying here praying
Praying this will go
Once again I feel alone
I feel like everyone’s gone
And I sit hear crying
And I keep beggin anxiety
I beg it just to leave
And I sit hear waiting
For this pain to alieve
Everytime it happens here
Feels like a million years
And I think I’m dying

What do I have to I have to do to make you see.
I have problems loving me?

Why do you stay?
I’m down on my knees
I’m so tired of being lonely
Who can give me what I need?
Who do I call to make you go?
There is one thing you should know
I can’t live this way
So anxiety why do you stay?

They keep telling me now that
There will come a time
When you will leave my heart
And I can have my time
But I dont know that’s the truth
And I don’t like being used
And I’m tired of waiting
It’s too much pain to have to bear
With who this pain can I share?

Why do you stay?
I’m down on my knees
I’m so tired of being lonely
What is it that you need?
Can I call you just to go?
There is one thing you should know?
I cannot live this way
Anxiety why do you stay?

I can’t take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
Do I waste all my minutes?
What do I need to put in it?
I need to find some rest
But what resting can I do?
Yet next time I find
I’m anxious what will I do this time?

Why do you stay?
I’m up off my knees
I’m so tired of being lonely
Worry doesn’t give me what I need
When I beg you to now go
There is one thing you should know
I refuse to live this way
I won’t let you stay.

Still Hurting Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Still Hurting from the musical The Last Five Years. Save Myself is still coming but this summarises how I sometimes feel still really well.

If you would like to listen to it here is a link. https://youtu.be/6zmmH_8ha28

When is this over when is it gone?
When will anxiety decide to move on?
There are my dreams how can I build upon
When I’m still hurting

I feel like I’m at the end of the line
What do I do with these problems of mine?
How long until I feel just fine?
And I’m still hurting

Should I lie about anxiety?
What about things
That I really want to do?
What happens now to me?
What about me?

It feels like something wonderful died
Where is my old life getting it back I’ve tried
Not many people I’ve tried to confide
And I’m still hurting

Go and hide and run away
Run away is there anything better?
Go and store my problems away
And pretend like it’s simple
Like I’m alright

Give me a day now to
Be better and try
Recover from my falls
Maybe I’ll see
How they could be
So certain that I
Will one day stand tall

Anxiety’s not over where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there’s somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn’t change the fact
I can learn from the past
And fix my foundations cracks
But I’m Still Hurting

Happier Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Happier by Ed Sheeran. This was inspired mostly by the depressive feelings that can come with anxiety and wanting to be “Happier.” Also watch for a song tomorrow that will almost be a sequel to this. It’s another Ed Sheeran song.

Working at the store tonight
Another attack I need to fight
Been a month since I had one
I’ve been happier
Want to walk it off again now
Please say something to make me laugh
A long time between smiles I sometimes go
I wish I was happier I do

Ain’t nobody hurt me like I hurt me
I need someone to love me now I do
People forget I dont make it personal now I
I’m trying to move on and start new

Cause I wish I was happier I do
I go numb and I can’t feel it too
And until then I’ll smile to hide the truth
I used to be happier it’s true

Sit in the corner of a room
Because I’m panicking can’t move
Nursing a hurting mind now and telling myself
I could be happier why aren’t you?

Oh ain’t nobody hurt me like I hurt me
And I’m lost don’t know what to do
I know that there’s others and this they’ve gone through
But it doesn’t feel like I can do it too

Will I ever be happier me too?
My friends say one day it will be true
For now I smile to hide the truth
I guess I could be happier it’s true

Maybe I could be happier it’s true
I know I might fall for someone too
But for now I need to find the truth
And know I can be okay on my own it’s true

I Miss the Mountains Rewrite

This is a rewrite of I Miss the Mountains from the Broadway Musical Next to Normal. This musical is all about mental health so I had to rewrite a song for this blog. This rewrite describes the ups and downs of going through a mental illness. The original song is sung by a lady who is bipolar. However I have modified it to explain my experience with anxiety and my own mental illness. Please share it if you enjoyed.

Here’s the original if you would like to hear it https://youtu.be/Rt09n4O-OrE

There was a time when I flew higher
Was a time that mountians gave me peace, I could see
Now I see me, scared and broken
Now it seems that they have changed I’m scared
I’m nowhere

All these sad and anxious months
Seems they’ve sapped up all my strenghth
I’m no longer free or fast
Feels my happy days are past

But I miss my mountains
I miss the peaceful heights
All the fun and happy days
And the peaceful quiet nights
What are these mountains?
I hate the new highs and lows
All the climbing all the falling
All the rest I had is now gone
I’m being stung with snow
And being soaked with rain
I liked the peace
I hate this pain

Mountains make me crazy
They were safe and sound
My mind is somewhere hazy
My feet aren’t on the ground
I was in the mountains there And on an even keel
Everything was perfect
Nothing’s real
Nothing’s real

And I miss my mountains
I miss my safe climb
Mountains are now very unsafe
I liked spending all my time
Where the air is clear and comforts your life
I miss my mountains
I miss my mountains
I miss my life
I miss my life