All Too Well Rewrite

——–Content Warning——-
This song was not written in a positive light and is quite depressive. It would be best not to be read if your mind is not in a good place

Trigger Warning: Suicide
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This is a rewrite of All Too Well by Taylor Swift. The sound of this song really captures some of my feelings so I also changed the lyrics to do so. Once you’vehad a mental illness you remember it all too well and when certain feelings return you know them all too well. That’s what this song is about and what the repitition of all too well touches on.

I woke up this morning and my mind was cold
But something bout it felt like home somehow and I
Kinda got used to this mindset all freaked out
I had some good weeks but upset again now
Oh my calm disposition
And my wide eyed gaze
I’m crying in my car feeling lost
All day
The autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
I hope this season is better than my last days

Happiness long gone and my
Magic’s not here no more
I might feel okay but I’m not fine at all

Cause there I am again anxious walking down the street
Thinking there’s nothing good here left for me
Why should I care if I’m there I remember things all too well

Photos of the past
My cheeks were turning red
I used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed
And my mother told stories and I’d watch the ball game
Now Im thinking about my past thinking where is my future

Feels like it’s long gone and there is nothing else I can do
I forget why I’m staying strong enough and forget why I need to

Cause here I am again in the middle of the night
My brain waking up and engaging me in a fight
Do I care? I am here. I remember it all too well, yeah

Maybe I got lost in translation
Maybe I didn’t try enough
But I don’t feel like a masterpiece
I’ve been torn all up
Running scared do I care? I remember things all too well
Anxiety comes up again and breaks me like a promise
So casually cruel what’s the point in being honest
I’m a crumpled piece of paper lying here
Cause no one remembers all too well

Time will fly and I’m paralyzed by it
I’d like to be my old self again
But I’m still trying to find it
After stressed out days and nights when
I was on my own
People suffer from this why do I walk alone?
Feels like I’m back in that very first week
When I was first anxious and felt up the creek
You can’t get rid of this and I
Remember it all too well

Because here we are again and I
Have another
Seems like this illness is the one real thing I’ve ever known
Do you care? If I’m not there? I know it all too well

Do they care? I’m aware I remember it all
Down the stairs I am there I remember it all
It’s not rare do I care I remember it all too well

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Back to December Rewrite

—–Content Warning——
This article is best not to be read if your mind is in a bad place.
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This is a rewrite of Back to December by Taylor Swift. This is about remembering how easy things used to be and what life was like before this illness. I hope you consider sharing this if you like it!

I’m so bad it’s never easy
How’s life? That’s what someone asks me
I haven’t been fine in awhile
I’m not good. As panicky as ever
I make small talk, work but I wither
My guard is up now all the time
Because now when someone sees me
It feels they burn in the back of my head
Are they looking and judging who I am?

So this is me standing here without pride
Wondering where in the world my life has gone
And I go back to December all the time
When I had freedom and wasn’t anxious at all
Wishing I’d realized what I had when I was fine
I’d go back to December and remember being fine
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven’t been sleeping
Staying up playing back my mistakes
When my birthday passed and it felt noone cared at all
And now it’s summer beautiful all the time
I watch people laughing and having fun
Realize I don’t have much at all

I want the cold here, and dark days before fear crept into my mind
Wish I could feel all their love instead of feeling Goodbye

So where in the world is my pride
Doesn’t feel like I have anything left at all
And I go back to December all the time
Where’s my freedom I miss good days
Wish I’d realized what I had being happy all the time
I’d go back to December and realize what was mine
I go back to December all the time

People posting tanned skin, sweet smiles
So good for them, so right
And darkness holds me in its arms on these summer nights
And all I want to do is cry

I know this is wishful thinking
And just mindless dreaming
But if I’m loved again I swear I’ll do it right

I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
Now pain is all around don’t understand

This is me where is my pride
Standing out here saying I’m sorry for what I am tonight
And I go back to December
Just want freedom and to stop missing things
Wishing I’d realized what I had when things were fine
I’d go back to December and wonder how to make it right
I’d go back to December and wonder if I can change my own mind

I go back to December all the time
All the time

Begin Again Rewrite

This is a rewrite of Begin Again by Taylor Swift. It was inspired by trying to restart your life and learning to live with anxiety and after major events or big changes. I was actually able to write this in one shot with no changes to the lyrics or syllablea.

Took a deep breath in the mirror
I dont want to be in this spot
But I am
Go to work and I’m on high alert
Feels like I just cant move on
But I do, I do

Walk in don’t wan to talk at all
But people don’t know what’s going and they say hi
I wish they would see and not pull me in
But they don’t know what’s happening
But I do

I run to the bathroom crying like a little kid
It’s strange I have this now cause I never did
I’ve been spending the last few months
Thinking all I ever do is break things hurt and end
But I wonder if theres a way I can learn to begin again

I wish I could find a way
To talk about my problems the way some do
But I can’t
I’d tell stories and I don’t know why
I come off as pretty shy
But I do

I try to talk it all out like a little kid
I think it’s strange that people don’t run cause I thought they would
I’ve been spending the last few months
Thinking all I ever do is break things hurt and end
But now I wonder if I can make things begin again

And I walk down the hall to my room and I need to go to sleep
But my mind wonders about everything I’ve done
Every single attack and I want to move past that
And I start to think about when this will be the past.

And I’ll throw my head back laughing like a little kid
And think it strange that I was like this and what I did
And I know I will spend those months
Thinking of other ways I can love and help and care
Because on a weekday in a cafe I learned how to begin again

Because one day, someday I’ll have learned how to begin again